Monday night April 10th 2017 I went to bed shortly after 10 PM just as I do most weeknights. I always pray my way to sleep, including protection over my mind, my body, my household, my family, friends and whoever else the Lord lays upon my heart (many that have wrote to me have been included as well as all that read my blogs) and then I pray in the Spirit. I fell asleep rather quickly just as I do most nights but I woke up with tremendous, heart gripping, paralyzing fear. I recognized that this was from the enemy and rebuked the spirit of fear, pled the blood of Jesus, Zech. 2:5 holy fire and a hedge of protection over myself and my household once again.
Being overcome by fear is not normal for me anymore at all, but it used to be. During the years of 2011 through 2013 when I was waking up to the evil and darkness that was in the world, I lived every day in this type of fear and I had to learn to overcome it by living this verse, Revelation 12:11 "And they overcame him (Satan and his partners) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death."
I truly believe the Lord let me feel that fear once again to show me how far I have come and to share with all of you, my struggle and my victory so that it may help you in your walk with Him.
It is not as easy as it sounds, to overcome the fear, because I had sin in my life that I could not overcome in my own strength. I knew sin was keeping me out of the presence of the LORD where all fear from the enemy flees, because His perfect love casts out fear and God has not given us a spirit of fear. Yes, I knew what Psalm 91 said "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High" and "Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place" and “Because he has set his love upon Me", yet I knew that these promises did not apply to me because of my sin. The reason I knew this is because I tried to draw close to the Lord and I couldn't because of my willful, habitual and very secret sin. I had been close to the Lord before and I knew how it felt to be in His holy presence and I wasn't there.
I want you to understand, I was on the church board and played on the worship team, and even taught adult Sunday school classes. In my youth I attended a bible college but I ended up backsliding for 15 years before returning as the "prodigal son" when my now ex-wife told me that she was "done with me" and threw me out of my own house. That night, October 27, 2004, ended up being the best night of my entire life! I cried out to the Lord and my exact words were, "God, if you are there I need you!" Not much of a theologically correct sinners prayer, huh? BUT I meant what I said with all of my heart and that is what Jesus honored. He answered my question in the most powerful way I had ever seen up until that time. He transformed me and I was different and free. I was so on fire for the Lord! So excited to get a second chance I even started studying to become a pastor through a correspondence course, until the Holy Spirit showed me that their doctrine was very wrong. The Lord showed me who my current wife would be. He spoke to both of us and we were married in November of 2005.
Life couldn't be any better right?
Then ordinary, normal American life set in and I let it lull me back to sleep.
I discovered that as I long as I hid my sins that I was having trouble with nobody would condemn me. Being hidden, in the case of sins, does not make them go away at all. You take out your favorite sins when no one is watching and enjoy them and then put them back in your safe hiding place.
Such is the miserable life of a lukewarm, hypocrite, Americanized christian. (Yes the little c is on purpose.) The church that I attended never preached one message on holiness and ridding your life of sin. Instead it preached only things that made people comfortable and tickling to the ears.
Nobody knew about my sin...EXCEPT JESUS! He judges the heart.
He's the one who died for the very sins that I loved more than Him. He kept asking me to lay these things down at His feet, but I couldn't until I wanted HIM MORE than the sin that was separating us. I needed deliverance from these sins because I could not get free of them on my own. That is an indication that demons have taken control of an area of your life. I listened to a quite a few teachings from Derek Prince (lots of them for free on YouTube) and I was set free! At first I stumbled a lot but I kept pressing into Him and the more I desired Jesus, the easier it was not to stumble and after a while the desire for the sin was completely gone. I had to fill the empty space left by the demons that I had gotten rid of and I was filled with the more of the Holy Spirit because I began to seek Him day and night every waking hour.
My friends, part of what drove me so hard to seek Jesus was that He spoke to me in the middle of the night back in the fall of 2012 and said, "The time of the gentiles is almost over, You must get into alignment with Me because I AM coming back soon!" His voice was not physically audible but inside my mind it was very loud. Most people dismiss this voice, think it is their own thoughts but that is exactly how the Holy Spirit speaks. Most times His voice is soft, gentle, still and small but He will speak up when He knows you will hear Him. Even when He speaks up, most people ignore him and turn up the music or the TV to drown Him out. This is when people are given over to their sin, when they continually ignore the Holy Spirit that is calling them. The Lord then waits till you get sick of your sin and cry out to Him. He lets the enemy deal with you so you return to the love of the Father. The sad fact is that most do not return and right now in the time we are in there may not be enough time left to go out and wallow in your sin.
We all need to be in a continuous state of humble repentance in this life, for we are being tested and tried, that is what this world is all about. The part of repentance that most people do not understand is that first you have to lay your sin down at the feet of Jesus and He will take it. Then we have to turn away from it as an act of faith and He honors that faith and gives us more strength to overcome it by His Spirit but we must desire Him more than anything else. I would suggest that anyone having problems with overcoming their sin (and anyone just in general) get up at least one hour early every morning and spend time worshiping the Lord. At first it will be hard but you will grow to love Jesus so much more by doing this and soon you will not know how you started the day any other way.
By doing this, it sets the rest of your day on the right path, you will walk in the Spirit much more easily and you will enjoy His presence throughout the day. You will begin to love His presence MORE than your SIN and you won't want to sin because you won't want to break the fellowship you have in the Spirit with Jesus. When you do this you have overcome sin!
This is also how you begin to pray without ceasing, just talking and communing with Him all day long.
I will add here that from time to time I am still tempted by these sins but I overcome them with ease now. One example I will give here is a struggle that is very common to men and that is lusting after women. There is no way you can really avoid looking at women, they are part of the world we live in.
What you can do is change the WAY you look at them, as a rule keep your eyes UP, concentrate on their faces. If you cannot do that turn your head or your eyes away from them. There may be times you will have to close your eyes or move your entire body. This goes for those things that come across the Internet and TV screens too. Remember the first look is the temptation (which WILL happen), the second look is contemplation and it is sin.
If you fall remember 1 John 1:9-10 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us."
Remember, living a completely holy life does not happen overnight so you must begin to do
this immediately because time is running out!
This is the message that the Holy Spirit has given me to instruct you further:
"FEAR ONLY THE ALMIGHTY LORD GOD!
Beloved, if your heart is right and clean before Me you have nothing to fear but Me.
You can see what is happening in the world all around you.
Darkness is covering more heavily by the day and war has come through the door.
You only need to fear what's coming, if you are living in willful and habitual sin and have not been broken and repentant before Me. "Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine."(Psalm 33:18-19) Special protection is afforded My holy, obedient ones who are about My Father's business.
His business is building His kingdom, which is saving the lost and dying.
My remnant/bride are about His business even now because of her love for Us and for the lost.
There is no other incentive even needed, it is just love.
Do you want to be counted worthy to escape what is coming upon this earth?
GIVE ME YOUR SIN NOW AND BE ABOUT MY BUSINESS.
There is very little time, the bridal party is nearly full, for My bride's preparations must be made ahead of time to be without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. I cannot protect those that are living in sin, because it is my purpose for those in sin to forsake their sin and follow Me. I do not bless sin, that is not what My grace and mercy are about.
I save men to turn away from their sin, not so that they can sin even more. As Paul wrote,
"What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?" BE DEAD TO SIN AND BE ALIVE IN ME!
The day of My return grows ever closer, for it is at the appointed time.
I come quickly on that day and there will no time to change anything on that day.
I will speak and there will be thunders and lightnings that will shake the earth and the heavens.
On that day all will fear Me and My enemies will try to hide themselves from Me.
I alone can shake the heavens, for I AM their creator and master and they listen to My voice.
I move them them with a shout and the voice of a trumpet and they will vibrate and resonate with the sound of My return.
When I shake the heavens what do you suppose will come from out of them?
Seek me for wisdom and I will give it.
The Lord will be a shelter for His people,
and the strength of the children of Israel.
Be holy as I AM holy!
My heart burns to be with you!
The Lamb who was slain from the foundation of the world for the sins of the world"